I’m just as able as you, expect where my benefits are concerned…

So, I recently had the pleasure of seeing a disabled comedian do their stand-up routine (its fine to cross that out, if they can mock themselves we all can. Relax everyone.). They were pretty funny and spoke well about their condition, how there’s no such thing as ‘normal’, how they were proud of their differences, and how it has never held them back. They were keen to dispel common myths about disabled people being able to have sex, have relationships, and have jobs – they even went as far as to single an audience member out and ridicule them for something they couldn’t do (in this case, learn a foreign language). “Do your parents struggle too with foreign languages? It must be genetic. Poor you… Oh you have a wife, wow, its nice to know there are people who don’t mind people who can’t learn another language….. so, can you have sex?”

You see my point.

But then they went all political on me. Started having a go at the government for welfare cuts (some of which I do agree are harsh and there are cases where people have been wrongly penalised), especially the recent re-assessment of DLA, where claimants move on to PIP. Now I didn’t get a chance to ask them this in person, and I wasn’t going to try start a debate mid-routine like some arsehole heckler, however I would love to know if they seriously believe in what they were saying as it’s the most hypocritical / contradictory thing I have witnessed.

The crux of the routine/rant was based around the waste of money the government were spending going around asking someone “Is your leg still missing” or “are you still deaf?”. Whilst this made for passable material for a comedian, they totally missed the point of what the government is doing.

The first half of their act basically focussed on “Don’t define me by my condition or what I can’t do, look at what I can do”. The second half then lambasted the government for doing exactly that.

Under old DLA rules, certain conditions triggered certain levels of benefit. So someone with a condition like a missing leg may have automatically got middle rate mobility, regardless of their circumstances. So a 35 year old man would be entitled to the same as a 6 year old boy for arguments sake. What PIP is doing is saying, actually theres a lot of difference between those two people so instead of saying you both have the same condition therefore get the same benefits, we’ll pay you a level of support equal to your needs as an individual. That 6 yr old boy may need money for transport, constant new equipment as he grows and his body changes, therapy and physio to help him understand and adjust to his condition. The 35 year old man may have had a leg missing for 20 years, be able to walk fine on a prosthetic, drives a car, has a job, doesn’t feel any more disabled than me or you therefore why should he expect the same level of benefits as the first child?  PIP does not define you by your condition.

So yes, this means some peoples benefits get reduced. If you want to insist that you be judged on your abilities then you can’t bemoan the fact this might mean you don’t need the extra financial support previously provided to you.



[Insert Winner’s Face Here]

2009 X-Factor winner Joe McElderry. You’d be forgiven for not recognising him with his trade mark boyish good looks blanded out in a crude act of photoshop. A worthy winner many felt, following his consistent smooth performances week after week, winning the hearts and the votes of a nation. Inoffensive to look at, polite and courteous, a regional accent giving him that ‘down to earth’ feeling, and a soft, controlled, voice that would calm even the most irate caller on hold to their energy supplier.

And that’s where you’re most likely to hear him nowadays. For as good as Joe was, he just seemed to lack the extra ingredient to make him a star, that certain je ne sais quoi, you know, The X-Factor.

For a show based on the premise of scouting the country looking for the next big star, Simon Cowell and Co have done remarkably well in crowning the extraordinarily mundane and pedestrian of contestants. With the exception of possibly Leona Lewis (UK’s poor answer to Beyoncé) Little Mix (we’re just 4 normal girls with amazing chemistry, look theres a black one, and ones a bit fat but don’t mention it), and James Arthur (he’s from the streets you know, not ‘The Streets’ the streets, he’s not that cool, actual streets. And he’s ginger and angry), ITV’s crown jewel has managed to get a number one record for 8 of the most forgettable, beige, artists singers people you could ever hope to meet. Name them, I dare you.

And a final thought for poor Joe. Only two years after his X-Factor win, Joe had to appear on another reality singing show just to promote his ‘new’ album, it hitting the shops adorned with stickers claiming ‘from the winner of Pop Star to Opera Star’. His X-Factor win replaced in the publics memory by Matt Cardle’s croaky-throated, broken-voiced, cover of an actual band’s original song, a band who probably had to work their socks off to get credit and recognition. Unlike Matt, who just beat Wagner in a sing off. Never has a show been more inappropriately named.

NOTE: My mum has every CD from every winner of every reality TV singing contest ever. I despair.


Welcome to my blog, a place where I intend to express my opinions on pretty much anything and everything. Happy to take questions and engage in a healthy debate however this will most likely result in me sitting here ignoring you, safe in the knowledge that “I know I’m right and thats all that matters”. Don’t think there’s an emoji for that yet.